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Who brought the Jello mold?

9/4/2012

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Have you ever been to a pot luck? Silly question. Of course you have. You can tell a lot about a person at a pot luck. There are certainties at a party that requires you bring a dish. For instance, there will always be the following items:
  • Chips and salsa
  • veggie tray
  • 4 different types of salad
  • one guy that didn't bring anything, but insists on telling the guy manning the grill how he wants his steak cooked.
Now these are the things that we all want to see at the gathering, but almost never do, or it runs out before you get to it in line:
  • Buffalo wings from Vinny's (or whatever place in your town that makes awesome wings.)
  • Enchiladas
  • Baby back ribs
  • an open bar with a bartender that knows how to make a margarita without a mix
Now for the breakdown of people vs. dishes they bring.
The lady that brings the homemade veggie tray with fresh made ranch dip, you are a good woman that cares about others. She is the person who decorates cakes for her kids birthdays and makes their Halloween costumes. We appreciate this woman, but we ask that she stops at the veggie tray. The more she does the less important we all feel. Now for the woman that brings the store bought veggie tray, we get it, you're busy. We will gladly eat all the broccoli and baby carrots, but we will dip them in the fresh made ranch, because the dip that came with that tray is gross.
We love the guy that brings brownies. We only ask that you make more than one batch. You see, what happens is that everyone will be secretly wanting to eat the last one, but no one wants to be "that guy." We need more!! 
Now, lets break down the salads. There needs to be only one kind of potato salad. Call around and pick one. If you are going to bring macaroni salad, make it yourself for the love of all things holy. Store bought will likely not even get opened and put out and they put pimentos in that stuff and pimentos are gross! When was the last time you went to the store and bought pimentos? Never, thats right. Make sure that if you bring a sweet salad TELL THE PERSON LAYING OUT THE FOOD!! There is nothing worse than biting into a delicious piece of fried chicken only to taste the distinct flavor of whip cream, or worse, miracle whip!
Now if you happen upon a pot luck that has a Jello mold, hug the person that made it. That person comes from another era. They have lived through times of war. That person believes in America and Freedom. And that person took the time and energy to UNMOLD that wiggly substance filled with fresh fruit and didn't mess it up. (If you have ever tried to make a Jello mold, you know what I am talking about)
Enjoy you next pot luck and remember, If there are black olives on the table, you have to put them on each of your fingers before you eat them. I am pretty sure that that is a law in some states.

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