A few months ago, I started school. I was encouraged by my boyfriend to attend the same community college he is going to. I admitingly argued every point I could think of as to why school wasn't for me. I eventually would submit and give it a shot. So I enrolled, set up financial aide and began classes in January. I took 2 acting classes, a women in film class and screenwriting. I count believe how quickly I fell into the practices of study, excitement for knowledge and commitment to improving myself through education. I was also having fun.
Durning my morning acting class another instructor came in to tell us about a Summer acting conservatory theatre program. It was a 6 week course, worth 10 college credits. It sounded fun. I thought, "Oh more acting classes! Sweet! That will be fun and easy since its a summer thing. I guess I could audition and see what happens." So I did. I auditioned. and then I waited. Doubt crept in. I somehow had convinced myself that, not only was I a terrible actor, but that they would in turn mock me for even trying.
Turns out that my neurosis couldn't be further from the truth. I got in. I was ecstatic. Then fear set in. What if I couldn't do it. Maybe my audition was a fluke. Maybe they sent me the acceptance email by mistake.
Regardless of my doubt, I showed up for orientation. I looked around the room and realized I was on of two students well over the age of 30. Everyone else was between the ages of 16-26 years old. I thought, "Well, this should be interesting."
For the next six weeks, I learned that an acting conservatory isn't just about learning how to act. Its about connecting to your breath, body, mind and the material. I also learned that there is a lot of physical activity. I am not against being physical, but I am not in what most would consider "peak physical shape." Far from it, in fact. The first week, I was BEAT! I could barely walk, but I got up the following Monday and realized I could still walk, so, I went back. Week two was even harder, and guess what? I made it. I couldn't believe it. I was keeping up with teenagers. Dancing, stretching, running...ok...I didn't run, but I did walk rather fast.
Throughout the following four weeks, I would push myself passed limits I didn't even know I had, much less, could have ever imagined surpassing.
Had I been told what I was going to be expected to do in conservatory on the first day, I don't think I would have done it. I knew for a fact that I count not have done most of the stuff they presented us with. WOW, was I WRONG!! Not only did I keep up and do the (in my mind) impossible, I did it fairly well. Some even better than the kids. I began standing taller. I walked with more confidence. I spoke with more authority. I blasted past every limitation I had placed on myself.
Thats right, I said I placed them on myself. Thats what we do. We limit ourselves based on doubt, insecurity, fear...etc. I learned that I am in control of those limits. Any obstacle I place in front of myself, I can choose to move it and carry on.
So, I am getting out of my way. I am removing all the limits. I will press on and conquer my own limits. It should be easier if I don't set any to begin with!! I will be LIMITLESS!!